note: I mistakenly sent this out late last night, so here’s the full email, in case you’re wondering why this is showing up twice. my apologies, and thank you for your forbearance!
I turned 43 yesterday. Because it fell on Thanksgiving weekend, I didn’t bother planning anything.
The truth is, my birthday makes me sad.
Growing up, I had more than one birthday party where folks I invited simply didn’t show up; one time, my step-father totally forgot it was my birthday. More often, it was just an occasion where the reality simply failed to live up to my expectations, for any number of reasons. The older I got, the lower my expectations became.
Not every birthday was sad. Both my 30th and 41st birthdays were excellent — thanks to two friends who went above and beyond, organized parties, and did the hard work of ensuring I knew I was loved and appreciated. Those were incredible gifts, and they still make me smile.
They stand out for their rarity, though. Because another truth is that I’m extremely bad at doing things for myself — like planning birthday parties — even as I’m excellent at doing things for others.
Every year, when fall comes, I realize my birthday is approaching. I make a mental note to plan something — and then, life and work and all the rest happen, and then something turns to a last-minute thing, and of course people aren’t going to shoehorn that last-minute thing into the busyness of their lives, because why would they? I’m not now, nor have I ever been, really, the kind of person for whom people go out of their way to make plans — a lesson from my childhood. And so the circle is unbroken.
So: I made no plans. I spent yesterday reading a little bit; I ate dinner, by myself. I’ll have dinner tonight with a friend. We’ll be checking out an interesting regional Chinese cuisine. Friends of mine texted and messaged me; more, besides, wished me well from near and afar.
Someday, we’ll be together; someday, again, I’ll see people whom I love and get to tell them how much it means to me to know that I’m loved.
Well, maybe, next year.
FIGHT THE TEAM ACROSS THE FIELD
Speaking of my childhood: if you’d told me this would be a regular occurrence around, I don’t know, 1994 or so, I definitely wouldn’t have believed you.
That’s 15 of the last 16 games in this rivalry. The Ringer’s Rodger Sherman broke down last Wednesday just how lopsided The Game’s become since 2004:
Name a college football rivalry that seems like it’s lopsided, and it is almost certainly less lopsided than Ohio State–Michigan of late. Oregon State has beaten Oregon more recently than Michigan has beaten Ohio State. Oklahoma State has beaten Oklahoma more recently than Michigan has beaten Ohio State. South Carolina has beaten Clemson, Georgia Tech has beaten Georgia, Texas Tech has beaten Texas, and UCLA has beaten USC more recently than Michigan has beaten Ohio State. Vanderbilt has beaten Tennessee more recently than Michigan has beaten Ohio State five times. And, of course, the now-distant nature of Michigan’s last win in this rivalry is only half the embarrassment; the Buckeyes had won seven matchups in a row prior to that result.
If you’re an Ohio State fan - I am not, but I am an Ohioan by upbringing - it’s mind-boggling just how completely the rivalry’s turned around. I moved to Ohio in 1987; the tail end of Earle Bruce’s tenure as Ohio State’s head football coach. In fact, he was fired the week of The Game.
[Sidebar: The Ohio State-Michigan game is known as “The Game”. It’s one of the fiercest rivalries in North American sports. This is normally where people come in and talk about how, sure, but really the biggest rivalry is Army-Navy, or Red Sox-Yankees, or whatever. My reply is that none of them are simply referred to as The Game. Your argument ain’t with me, it’s with history. I’ll make an exception for Alabama-Auburn, which is almost certainly the fiercest intra-state rivalry. Also, roll Tide.]
Anyway, Earle Bruce (who, by the way, had an all-timer of a football coach name) got sacked for the heinous crime of Not Winning Enough. It didn’t help that he succeeded the sainted Woody Hayes, or that his Ohio State teams never contended for the national title after his first season. Bruce’s tenure was also probably the most balanced stretch of the UM-OSU rivalry; neither team won more than two straight games in the rivalry.
Bruce was replaced by the eminently decent John Cooper. Cooper’s stretch as Ohio State coach (1988-2000) was also probably the nadir of The Game for the Buckeyes; despite their success against other teams, Cooper never quite could put it together against Michigan. Three times — in 1993, 1995, and 1996 — Ohio State went into The Game unbeaten, the latter two times with a shot at a national title; each time, Michigan spoiled the undefeated season. Cooper’s record against the Wolverines was a putrid 2-10-1; wins in 1994 and 1998 (and a tie in 1993!) paled against that consistent futility.
If you’re a Buckeyes fan, the ‘90s were rough. Michigan just seemed to have a psychological edge when playing Ohio State. You’d steel yourself for disappointment the week of the Michigan game, even as the Buckeyes would run rampant against other teams. And those Ohio State teams were talented: they had players like Eddie George, Orlando Pace, and Ricky Dudley. Yet, it didn’t seem to matter when it counted — in The Game.
Cooper was replaced by Jim Tressel, who placed a real emphasis on The Game. Literally: when he took over as Ohio State coach, Tressel basically guaranteed a win against Michigan. Since he took over in 2001, the Buckeyes have gone 17-2 in the rivalry. The turnaround is so stark, so sudden, it’s astonishing. The roles have been reversed so utterly, it’s as if Ohio State shifts into another gear when the week of the Michigan game comes.
Yet, even with this streak of dominance, Michigan has the all-time edge in The Game, at 58-51-6. So, there’s that, Wolverine fans. It’s not much, but it’ll have to do.
LINKS
Speaking of birthdays: was Jeanne Calment (whom you might know as “the oldest woman in the world”) a fraud? This was a pretty interesting look at that enduring question. (The Guardian)
I was surprised to find out that Joe Pesci — yes, that Joe Pesci — is a hell of a crooner. (Esquire)
If you’re a Prince enthusiast (which I am), you should really check out Ice Cream Castle, the third album by The Time, which is really Prince playing most of the instruments with Morris Day following a Prince vocal track for recording. (YouTube, 38 minutes)
A Thanksgiving miracle: the definitive history of the Mikhail Gorbachev Pizza Hut ad. (Foreign Policy)
This is just so creepy: a deepfake Richard Nixon delivers the eulogy for the Apollo 11 astronauts that William Safire wrote in case of a disaster. (YouTube)
Here’s 33 ways to remember this past decade. It’s astonishing how deeply the Internet is suffused in all this. (New York Times)
New York City can be such a lonesome place, and then there’s this — Thanksgiving dinner on the L train. This is why I love this city so much. (YouTube, 21 minutes)
You can now download 3D scans of the Bust of Nefertiti! After a three-year-long fight, the Neues Museum in Berlin has finally released their legal claim on this. (Reason)
Oh, my god: the Succession theme really does work over a bunch of TV title sequences. (YouTube)
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you for the birthday wishes; and thank you for being you.