The world, turned upside down
I'm scared, and that's OK: Life in the time of the coronavirus plague
The novel coronavirus responsible for COVID-19.
Hi, I’m Raf. This is The Miscellanies. It’s been an awful week.
I’ve been working from home since yesterday. My company originally planned on sending everyone home on Monday, but we needed to tweak a few things. It’s hard for me to work from home; I can’t concentrate as much as I need to, and I don’t have a dedicated space to work. We sent everyone home in the afternoon; I was the last to leave. We won’t be back until March 31, but I fully expect to work remotely beyond that date.
I stopped by my favorite pizzeria to pick up a small pizza; I hadn’t had one for the longest time, and figuring I’d be doing a ton of social distancing between now and the end of March, I wanted to treat myself to one last nice thing. Everything seemed normal, save for the emptiness of the restaurant, normally packed. But the employees were jokingly dismissing the threat of illness.
Until, suddenly, ESPN announced that Utah Jazz player Rudy Gobert tested positive for the coronavirus. Then, just as quickly: the NBA season was canceled. Then: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson test positive, while in Australia. I told the counterman, who was blindsided by the news - all of it.
The dominoes fell quickly after that. Sports leagues suspending play in a rush. I talked with the counterman, reassured him as best I could. As I packed up my things to head to my place, President Trump spoke.
His speech, like his Presidency, was a failure.
The world is turned upside down. Thursday was frantic, chaotic, unsettled. At every moment, something else seemed to explode. The financial markets, terrified at Trump’s unfitness for office made manifest once again, plunged in a death-spiral. Trading stopped; the Federal Reserve rushed $1.5 trillion into service to ensure liquidity in the system. Stocks bounced, and you will never see a deader cat bounce more. 15 minutes later, the markets plunged again; trading stopped again. Mercifully, it ended at 4 p.m., with the Dow down over 2,000 points, losing 10 percent of its value.
The economy is either in a recession, or at the precipice of one, but it will slide into it.
Meanwhile, it looked as if having seen the President comprehensively fail Wednesday night, states and cities decided to do what they could. Closings continued apace; proscriptions of large gatherings; public life was grinding to a halt. Suddenly, a rumor flew here in New York City; I got texts from friends of mine in city and state government, and elsewhere. Hey, heads up: the city’s shutting down. Do what you need to before it happens. …What? Yes; subway, for sure. Metro North, too. Emergency vehicles only.
I relayed the news. Turns out I, and others, were hoodwinked. It was literally fake news, which is an awful thing to put out in an emergency. I was embarrassed to relay this to people I cared about.
Afternoon turned to evening. The whole time, my nerves jangled, anxiety coursing through my body. I finally signed off work around 7 p.m.
Truly: I’m scared. That’s OK. But I’m scared, and I haven’t felt this way since I was in Iraq; or the weeks after 9/11. It’s impossible to look at the chart above, and not be scared. I’m trying hard not to give way to unreasoned panic. I counseled people in my work Slack that it was OK to admit fear, to speak it, to say I’m scared. But we shouldn’t give way to needless panic. These next few weeks and months will be hard going. I think that’s becoming clear, if it hasn’t become so yet. But it is what we absolutely need to do.
Watching everything grind to a close — even Broadway! — drove that home yesterday. Now is when we desperately need to come together in love and compassion and selflessness for one another. Now is when we need to care for one another; to check in on each other - the neighbor who’s old or infirm, and lives alone; the family who’s struggling to keep it together; your friends who may suddenly be looking for work.
I’m going to leave it at that. I love all of you, and I’m here for you, if you need anything. Please write me if that’s the case, or even if it isn’t. Love is what will keep us together, and it is what will see us through.
One last thing: if you’re interested in setting up a Signal thread so folks can check-in on each other and help allay anxiety and depression, please reply to this newsletter. My friend Arielle Cohen, who’s amazing, posted about doing something like this — an intentional network of care.
The news we needed to hear: Betty White is fine.
Are you confused about what “social distancing” entails? That’s OK; even the experts don’t agree on what it means.
Speaking of social distancing — experts think it will cause an epidemic of loneliness. This is why it’s imperative for us to reach out to one another, even if it’s virtually, through phone calls and texts and video chats. As someone who’s an introvert and self-isolates already, I am dreading the loneliness I feel already.
If you run a business, or are part of a company’s leadership team, you should check out this business continuity plan. It’s written by HoneyBook.
Similarly, if you’re looking for a work-from-home (WFH) guide for your business, this one is excellent. Comes complete with templates.
If you need more encouragement to stay home, well, here you go: #StayTheFuckHome - a movement to stop the COVID-19 pandemic.
This is an anti-anxiety Spotify playlist by Shearwater, and boy howdy, do we ever need it.
I’ll see you on the other side. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other this weekend. We need to. I love you.